Friday, September 13, 2024

Until the Cows Come Marching Home; a “fabula contracta”

Characters: ABE, MOE, JC 

Sitting center side by side stage right to left: ABE, MOE, JC. Very erect, facing front, hands clasped in laps. 


{Silence} 


MOE: When did we three last meet? 


JC: We should talk until the cows come marching home. 


{Silence. Exit MOE right. Silence.} 


ABE: JC? 


JC: Yes. 


ABE: What do you feel of Moe? 


JC: I hear nothing but dissonance. 


(ABE moves to center seat, whispers in JC's ear. Appalled.) 

Ah! (They look at each other. ABE puts his finger to his lips.) 

Does he not realize? 


ABE: Hell grant not. 


{Enter MOE. ABE and JC turn back front, resume pose. MOE sits right.Silence.} 


Just sit together as we used to, in the play-by-play at Mr.Slosh's. 


JC: On the electrical unit. 


{Silence. Exit ABE left. Silence.} 


Moe! 


MOE: Yes. 


JC: How do you find Abe? 


MOE: He's the same. (JC moves to center seat, whispers in Moe's ear. Appalled.) Oh! (They look at each other. JC puts his finger to his lips.) Has he not been told. 


JC: Father forbid. 


{Enter ABE. JC and MOE turn back front, resume pose. ABE sits left.} 


Holding hands . . . that way. 


ABE: Visions of . . . peace. 


{Silence. Exit JC right. Silence.} 


MOE: Abe. 


ABE: Yes. 


MOE: How do you think JC is listening? 


ABE: In this air, one hears little. (Moe moves to center seat, whispers to ABE. Appalled.) Oh! (They look at each other. MOE puts his finger to his lips.) Does he not know? 


MOE: Please cows not. 


{Enter JC. MOE and ABE turn back front, resume pose. JC sits right. Silence.} 


May we not speak of the ancient durations? 

(Silence.) 

Of what came before? 

(Silence.) 

Shall we hold hands in the new way? 


(After a moment they join hands as follows: Abe's right hand with JC's right hand. Moe's left hand with Abe's left hand. Abe's right hand with JC left hand. Moe's arms being above JC's left arm and Abe's right arm. The 3 pairs of clasped hands rest on the laps. Silence.) 


ABE: I can taste the difference. 


(Silence.) 


curtain 

spring/2010 


The Mirth of Bith; a “fabula contracta”

Bith: Hmph!

{Sounds of a Carnival}


Bith: Pulcinella . . . and the clown.


{Sounds of people laughing, yelling, machine noise.}


Bith: Where did you get your money, you dumb scum-bag?!


{Toy guns fire, rockets, sparkler noise. Girls screaming, bells ringing.}


Bith: If you slid off the Eiffel Tower with in-line skates you'd still be a drag!!


{Monkey cry, more laughing, firecrackers popping.}


Bith: Here; let me show you my banana!


{Sounds fade into: French version of "Cherokee People"}



fine


summer/2010


Thou Art That; a “fabula contracta”

Time: Early 21 Century

Place: The inside of the elevator ascending the interior of the Gateway Arch in St.Louis, MO..


Players: Tat - a tattooed lady

Tvam - a male television personality

Asi - a masked soldier (no gender)


{Music: "Up, up & Away" - 5th Dimension.}


[Background projection shows scientist chalking out formulas on a board; a priest holding a monkey that is holding his nose as he laughs. A sand bag. Two small children; one is chasing another w/ a piece of dry wall. A scene from Caligula. Steve Jobs and Andrea Mitchell standing next to each other; both wearing black turtle neck shirts and blue jeans. Last image is of a sea turtle covered in crude oil.]



[The players are seated very close together.]


Tat has an abundance of tattoos. 


Tvam is wearing a 3 piece suit from The Men's Wearhouse, he smiles a lot. And when he speaks its in a radio voice. 


Asi is dressed in black and wearing a black mask that covers the head and face, and says very little, but breathes heavily.


[NOTE: from left to right - Tat, Tvam, Asi.]


(Mechanical sounds of an elevator.)


TAT: (very dry, little emotion) I like shifting.


(Hydraulic sound.)


TVAM: Good morning United States of America! Bubbles of joy, bubbles of hope, and I'm not talking detergent folks!


TAT: Are you talking deterrent?


(Hydraulic sound)


TVAM: Oh, no. I said detergent, but we're really not talking detergent.


TAT: Are you going to say; "Look . . . or, At the End of the Day, or We Need to Stay on the Same Page, Absolutely!"


TVAM: No.


(Sounds of electronics, hydraulic sounds.)


(Tat and Tvam look over at Asi.)


(Asi looks over at them.)


(Silence. All 3 stand up.)


(Sound of elevator door opening.)


(The players walk behind their seats, and turn their backs to the audience. Projection shows view from Gateway Arch Observation Deck Windows.)


TAT: Wow. You can see East St. Louis from here.


TVAM: Looks like the industry really fucked them on that one.


(Asi slowly pulls out what looks like a Pez dispenser. Tvam and Tat look over and notice.)


TVAM: Oh my God! Look out. Its a Hindu!


ASI: What? (pauses) No, man . . . its just gum. I thought you guys might like to pop your ears from the altitude.


TVAM: Oh.


TAT: Oh. Alright.


(They both reach out and take a piece of gum.)


ASI: I know why you guys were afraid at first, the Pez dispenser looks a lot like this . . . 


(Asi pulls out a detonator switch to a bomb.)


See if I push this thing . . . . 


(Sound of large explosion. The Gateway Arch is completely destroyed and fall into the Mississippi River.)



fine


summer/2010